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Breakfast (7 am): 4 scrambled eggs with mixed vegetables (cooked in coconut oil); 1 apple with 1 tbsp. of almond butter; 2 cup of coffee (1/2 caf.)

Lunch (10:30 am): sardines, sweet potatoes, peppers, olives, onions and mustard over a bed of romaine lettuce; 1/2 cup of bananas with a handful of nuts and coconut flakes

Afternoon snack (3:30 pm): tuna with kale and baby carrots, 1 grapefruit and 10 almonds

Dinner (5:30 pm): salad with romaine lettuce, cabbage, mango, onions, olives, peppers, sunflower seeds and salmon; too much fruit, nuts, trail mix and coconut milk for “dessert”

Hydration: water, sleepy-time tea

Supplements am: calcium d-glucarate, DIM, oil of oregano, turmeric, maca, ashwaghanda, and DHA

Supplements pm: vitamin D, melatonin, maca, ashwaghanda, and unsweetened, generic Natural Calm

Activity: 5 mile commute; am Spinning class; 10 min. foam rolling

Pre-workout meal am: 1 cup of coffee (1/2 caf.), BCAA

Reflections: nothing like getting bad news on your last day of your Whole30 to send you into a post-dinner binge. I received the news in the afternoon, which unleashed feelings of emptiness, worthlessness and embarrassment. I felt even more empty and hollow after having dinner, and proceed to eat my weight in nuts, dried fruit, frozen fruit and trail-mix, feeling ashamed and even more worthless as I was doing it. Nothing has swayed me from my goal of completing the Whole30, except for this piece of bad job-related news. I waited for S to go to the garden to begin my “feast,” hoping to fill my emptiness with food, but wanting to do it alone. Having an audience would have multiplied my feeling of shame. Although all of the foods were Whole30 approve, my binge defeated the purpose of the Whole30. I did not use food to nourish me, but to mask pain. I debated whether I should write about this, since I am far from proud of what I did: I had 29.75 perfect days, and I messed up in my last meal! While I am still feeling wounded from yesterdays event, keeping this a secret would make this episode the opposite of a learning experience. So, I know my biggest triggers now, and I won’t let this happen again in the next 30 days. Moving forward from this point requires self-compassion. I am human, and I make stupid, self-sabotaging decision when I am in pain, like eating too much trail-mix. I wish I had made a better choice, but dwelling on it, at this point, seems, well, pointless…

Sleep: good (8 hours)

OVERALL: still committed to a second Whole30.

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